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The Best Journey of My Life

Posted by Emma on November 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm | Filed under:Christianity,Faith,Life's Race,Prayer,Repentance

“Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with your whole heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Eleven days ago I embarked on a journey that changed my life. It was the best journey I have ever taken. This journey was not a journey in the physical realm. It was a spiritual journey, a journey to the heart. That journey is probably the best journey you could every take.

After a few days of prepping, the 42 girls and eight wonderful leaders taking part in this journey traveled up to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. During our time of prepping to Lord gave me a verse to take with me on this journey. Psalm 10:17 “Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:” This was His promise to me for the time we were in the Northwoods. There in a quiet secluded part of the world we began searching our hearts and seeking the Lord.

The time was insightful and I learned lots but I just kept feeling like something was between me and God. I did not want that, but I was not really sure what it was or what to do about it, also Satan was bringing doubts about whether I was saved. After struggling with it for about a day, I asked my amazing team leader if I could talk to her. She was wonderful and talked and prayed with me for several hours. However, nothing was really different.

A battle was going on inside of me. I knew there was ground that I had given to Satan, but I did not know how to break free from his hold. The next day was spent fighting an inner battle. I prayed, meditated, searched the scriptures, cried out to God, meditated some more, begged God for help, thought and fought the day away. The day went really fast, I don’t have a clear memory of a lot of it. I just know I was seeking God with all I could, hanging on to the promise He had given me at the start of the journey.

Towards the end of that day, I got another opportunity to talk with my team leader. I told her what had been going on that day inside of me and she gave me different scriptures. At length we prayed. By this point I knew I needed to surrender to Christ, although those words had not formulated themselves in my mind; the concept was there. I could not do it. I prayed. I begged God to bring me to a place of complete brokenness. But I could not surrender. Something was holding me back and I could do nothing about it.

The rest of that night was spent with this inner battle and turmoil. I continued to seek God as best I knew how and pretty much spent the time alone with Him. At one point I told a good friend, who was praying for me, what was going on. I found out I did not need to tell her much because God had already told her. I was up late that night praying and seeking God. As I was sitting up, pretty much everyone else in bed, I could sense the battles going on. More than just mine were being fought and won, as I found out later.

The next morning we headed from our cabin to the main lodge. The lodge has a tower with big windows, it was to this tower that I went. That morning I prayed and paced and meditated ad paced and prayed some more. Nothing was changed. Our leaders had told us to look at a prideful heart. After awhile of praying and pacing, I settled down to read it as best I could. There was a list of evidences of pride. The last item on the list slapped me across the face. It read, “Pride is refusing to surrender your whole life to God or resisting HIs will in any matter.” Then and there I knew what I needed to do. I needed to surrender everything to God. But it was not as easy as just knowing. Satan did not want me to surrender. So I paced and fought some more.

Finally, in desperation, I went onto my face before the Lord. Visually and verbally, I surrendered every area that I could think of to the Lord. When it was all in Jesus’ control, I had more peace that I had felt for days. Now, I could quietly read and pray.

There was not much time after I surrendered and when our leaders called us together. I found out more of the battles that had been fought and won the previous night. Although I had more peace, I knew it was not a finished work. That afternoon, I called home and confessed to my parents a whole ton of different sins and things which I either had not told them or had not been perfectly honest about. I asked their forgiveness and they graciously gave it. When I finished, I had even more peace and felt free.

That night, Jesus smiled on me in many ways and I felt the love of God more that ever. The next morning I woke up before the other girls in my cabin and was giddy with joy. It is very rare for me to be giddy, I knew it had to come from God. It was the most amazing feeling ever! I cannot describe it but I wish I could live in it for the rest of my life. I prayed, read the Bible and then because I could barely contain myself went on a walk with Jesus. I ran, shouted, jumped, sang, and in general praised my Savior and Lord and communed with Him. It was wonderful, just not long enough. Later that day, God confirmed His love for me in the form of a heart shaped rock He put on the beach just for me.

A mighty work had been done. But the work was not complete. Although, I had peace and was free, I knew something still was not right, something seemed to be lacking. I did not know what, I still do not know. But that evening, after I had surrendered all to the Lord, I was sitting talking with God and meditating. He gave me another promise; one to take with me as I left that part of the journey. “Being confidence of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will preform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” Phil 1:6. God’s work in my life is not finished. There are still areas that need to come completely under His control. There are still areas that need cleaned out. There are still things to be dealt with. But I know that He will continue this work that He has began.

I am going to keep seeking God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. I am begging Jesus to help me do this. I would appreciate your prayers, as I keep seeking Him and wanting Him to take complete control of my life. I know the prayers of my leaders and friend helped carry me through my battle during Journey and I know your prayers will help carrying me as I continue journeying on. Thank you ahead of time for them.

I embarked on what I thought was a ten day journey. I found it was a life time journey. My journey has just begun. I am not far on it. But I am journeying on with Jesus as my leader, guide, and companion.

3 Responses to “The Best Journey of My Life”

  1. Michelle M. Says:

    Emma,

    Your testimony makes me smile as well as encourages me to continue on my own journey. It was encouraging to read your testimony and understand so much of what was happening while up at the Northwoods…why, God laid you on my heart to pray.
    I will continue to pray for you on this new Journey, and look forward to what God is doing in your life.
    ~Michelle

  2. Megan Hodges Says:

    Hey Emma,
    I loved reading this. I’m so glad to hear that God has done such an amazing work in your life. I can’t wait to read more as you draw even closer to Him.

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